How Menopause Tested My Marriage
- Marie, Your Advocate
- Feb 10
- 4 min read
by Marie, Your Advocate
Let me share something with you. Something I never really thought about until my husband let me in on a little secret.
Men, yes, men, are struggling when their wives hit menopause. And here’s the real shocker… sometimes, they seem more desperate for answers than we are! Crazy, right?
When Even His Breathing Annoyed Me
Let me be real with you for a second.
In my late 40s, I started feeling distant from my husband. Not because anything had changed between us but because everything about him suddenly got on my nerves.
The way he chewed his food, left things lying around, and breathed; yes, even his breathing irritated me.
I would catch myself being annoyed as he lay on the couch watching TV. The same little quirks that never bothered me before, or perhaps didn’t bother me as much, suddenly felt unbearable. And the worst part? I didn’t know why.
Even He Felt Hurt With This
Now, you’d think that being married to a specialist in hormonal imbalances would make things easier, right? Ha!
Being a doctor, my husband knew exactly what was happening on paper. He understood that my hormones were shifting, that my emotional responses were heightened, and that it wasn’t personal.
But later, he confided in me that it was much harder than he imagined.
His rational brain told him, "This isn’t really about me, it’s the hormones," but his heart still felt rejected. The distance between us was real, and even knowing the science behind it didn’t make it hurt any less.
Partners Are Lost, No One Told Them Why
Dr. F has had many friends and acquaintances come to him with the same concerns.
"My wife has changed. She’s distant. She doesn’t look at me the same way. We don’t have intimacy. I don’t know what to do." Or even more heartbreaking: "She doesn’t want to be around me. She doesn’t talk to me like before. I don’t think she loves me anymore."
And the worst part? Most of these partners have no idea why it’s happening. We know menopause can be a rollercoaster physically, emotionally, mentally. But we don’t always stop to think about what it looks like from their side.
Our partners are confused, frustrated, and feeling completely shut out. And most of them don’t even know where to start.
The “Silent Epidemic” of Menopause & Marriage
Did you know that over 60% of divorces in midlife are initiated by women? In fact, a study in the UK found that 73% of women actually blame menopause for their divorce. Quite shocking right?
Men are left wondering, “What's happening?” while we’re trying to navigate a body that no longer feels like our own.
So here’s the real question…
What If Our Partner Knew What’s Really Happening?
If they actually understood what was happening inside our bodies, the hormone shifts, the emotional waves, the sleepless nights, the changes in libido, would they be better equipped to support us? Would it save more marriages? Dr. F (my husband) thinks so, even though he still found it challenging.
Imagine if, instead of thinking, “My wife doesn’t love me anymore,” they could think: "Ah, I see what’s happening. She’s going through something huge, and I need to be there for her. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me…”
Wouldn’t that change everything?
We Need to Talk About This. With Them.
We, as women, have been fighting to break the silence around menopause for ourselves. But what if we also need to bring our partners into the conversation?
They need to know they’re not alone. Other husbands and partners feel just as lost. That there’s actually a way through this. And that way starts with understanding.
So, here’s my challenge to you: Talk to your partner about menopause. Show them what’s happening to you. Help them see that this isn’t about them; it’s about something bigger. And don’t hesitate to get external help and support.
There was a point in my life when everything about my husband irritated me, not because of him but because I was struggling myself. How can you be patient, affectionate, or romantic when you don’t even feel like yourself? Could I have walked away? Absolutely. But I’m so grateful today we didn’t let our relationship slip away. It would have been a terrible loss, and I would have regretted it.
Now, I’m not saying every relationship is worth saving. Sometimes, there are valid reasons for a couple to part ways. But menopause is not one of them.
Especially when there are many solutions to help you feel better, regain balance, and navigate these changes to feel like yourself again, let’s stop suffering in silence on both sides.
How about you? Have you seen changes in your relationship since menopause started? Do you think your partner understands what you’re going through?
With love and support,
Marie
Who is Marie?
Marie, in her mid-50s, is a mother and the wife of Dr. Faruqi. She was a manager at a major financial institution before being diagnosed with breast cancer at 50. This life-changing experience motivated her and her husband to research extensively, ultimately transforming her health and life. Now feeling blessed and healthier than ever, Marie is on a mission to empower women, encourage important questions, and serve as the advocate they deserve.
Sources for Studies:
Family Law Menopause Project & Newson Health Research and Education. (2022). Menopause puts final nail in marriage coffin. Retrieved from https://www.balance-menopause.com/news/menopause-puts-final-nail-in-marriage-coffin/
The Independent. (2022). New research shows link between menopause and divorce. Retrieved from https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/women/menopause-divorce-link-study-b2204312.html
Stowe Family Law. (2022). Menopause: a divorce 'danger zone'. Retrieved from https://www.stowefamilylaw.co.uk/blog/2022/10/17/menopause-a-divorce-danger-zone/
National Center for Biotechnology Information. (2023). The Effect of Menopause on the Sexual Functions and Marital Adjustment of Spouses. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10836430/
Timeless Youth Empowerment™, led by Dr. Faruqi and Marie Labelle, supports women over 40 and 50 to take control of their health, vitality, and aging journey. We provide education in hormonal balance, anti-aging strategies, and symptom relief for menopause and midlife changes. We address symptoms like fatigue, weight gain, and sleep issues, helping women regain energy, confidence, and a youthful glow by guiding women through midlife transitions with natural and medical solutions backed by science.
Disclaimer: The content in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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